Today is the 14th (January). I’ve been working on Valentines Day offers for my cake business. So my mind is already in February. In fact, as most business owners will know, I’m already at Easter and on the verge of summer really.
My husband went to the gym early this morning and I thought, oh no! I don’t have a card or anything so I thought it’d just get away with a loving kiss. He came in just before the school run and I gave him a kiss and said Happy Valentines Day. He looked puzzled and asked is it? I said yah, it’s the 14th. He starts to apologise for not getting me anything then gives me a sceptical look and calls me a ‘419-er’ – which means fraudster in Nigeria. He thought I was setting him up. ROTFL 🙂 I genuinely thought it was Valentines Day. I explained that I was working on some offers and had got caught up in that but I don’t think he believed me. Hahaha. Hilarious start to my day.
Although I love that we are at that stage where a kiss is enough to celebrate Valentines Day. I’ll see if that sentiment is still there in February. 😉
My daughter walked into my bedroom on Valentine’s day and saw the card and gifts my husband gave me and cue dropped shoulders, sulk and a moan that sounded like awwwoooowwww- after which the shoulders sagged even lower.
I laughed and asked what was wrong. She promptly replied that it was not fair that I got a Valentine’s card and she didn’t get one. Before I could say anything, she said “I know what I’ll do, I’ll make one for myself”.
Of course you don’t need to guess how proud I was that one, she came up with a practical solution on her own to what she felt was a problem and two, she had stumbled onto one of life’s important lessons – loving yourself first.
There is no substitute for knowing you are loved and you are lovable before anyone says they love you. The second commandment that Christ gave was to love others as you love yourself. We are usually very good at pouring out love to others in need and loved ones but often very hard on ourselves.
Years, years, years ago I remember doing some sort of self awareness exercise. I can’t even remember where I was but I remember the result. The mission was to name ten things I loved about myself and then things I didn’t like. I filled up the ten things I didn’t like very quickly and could possibly have gone on to twenty but I got to number three on the love list and I couldn’t list things anything else that I loved about about myself. You should try that list to see what your love quotient on yourself is.
Maybe life has been very tough on you or people have told you that you are unlovable. Whatever the case is, you are only a shadow of who you really are if you can’t learn to love yourself – warts and all. You can search for it in the arms of another; try and find it in climbing your career ladder; hunt for it in the crowd of people you surround yourself with. You can try, try, try and try but until you can look in the mirror and say I like what I see – all of it the good, bad and ugly – then you haven’t lived. If you can’t do that, every achievement is hollow because you will be haunted by the quest to be good enough for x, y and z or to be like a, b and c. If you can’t love yourself, sadly no one else’s love will ever be good enough to fill that vacuum.
I learned that lesson at twenty-five which I think was very late but better late than never. If my daughter can learn this at the age of six, her life is going to be AMAZING!