Guilty Working Mum

My daughter is usually in a hurry to get to school and eager to be first in line before they go into their classroom. However, for the last couple of weeks she has insisted that instead of saying goodbye in the courtyards, I walk her to her class and give her a hug and kiss. And then she says that she’d like me to stay with her and that she’ll miss me. Very odd behaviour, particularly if you know my daughter.

I’m working on tenderness in my parenting (eye rolling but essential) so I sit with her; ask her why she wants me to stay and then tears ensue. So I have to stay a little longer and hug and kiss and wipe tears away whilst she sits on my lap. In the back of my mind, I’m thinking I need to get to work. I eventually calm her down and then tell her we’ll so something special when we get home.

The head teacher had observed it all and stops me to ask if everything was OK and promised to monitor her as she also found it to be odd behaviour for my daughter. That got me teary because I was grateful she was in a caring school and I can’t take that for granted. But I was also a mixed bag of emotions for a myriad of reasons.

I think every working mum feels guilty. I was wondering if I wasn’t spending enough time with her. Had I wrapped myself up so much in work that I was neglecting her? You know – those sort of fleeting thoughts.

Silly thoughts really because even if I wasn’t working, I wouldn’t be able to stay with her at school right? Go figure! Anyway, I made a decision to do something with her on her own this weekend. Just to bond.

As I drove to pick her up from school after work, I had visions of her running up to me and giving me one of her infamous bear hugs. I must admit that I was excited about receiving her hug especially after seeing her so distressed this morning. So imagine my surprise, no scratch that – horror,  as I walked towards the courtyard and she starts to back away – wailing that she didn’t want to go home, she wanted to stay at school.

Note to self- you are doing a BRILLIANT job as a mother and your children are fickle so don’t trust them! Simples!

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