It would really easy to tell you all the great things my children do and they really do some amazing things. It would be easy to go on about how they are changing and challenging themselves to be good humans beings. It would be easy – particularly on social media.
You can’t see me so I can spin all the good and true stories about them. But that’s not what Redefining Wonder Woman is about. It’s about taking the good and the bad and still taking a shot at life without condemning yourself. It’s about not making others feel lousy about themselves by exhibiting only your good side.
I hope that’s not what I do? I hope you get a bit of my struggles and my triumphs.
So today, I am struggling and I might elaborate on that in another post but today is just about acknowledging that I am struggling. Tomorrow will be different but this is today.
I am struggling to remember that they are only children and will act as children.
I am struggling to understand why everyday can’t be like the smooth sailing days.
I am struggling to understand why I need to repeat myself over and over and over again.
I am struggling to accept that children are primarily takers not givers.
I am struggling to accept that this is motherhood.
I am struggling to accept how after a session of me telling them off, they immediately turn round and say ,”mummy may I have a brioche?” 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
So today I’m going to be kind to myself because they love me no matter what and tomorrow they’ll do it all again. I will simply remind myself that this is the reality of motherhood. Now where’s that latte?
Like me, you might have woken up to the news that Madonna fell at the BRIT Awards.
Before you judge or make fun of her, ask yourself if you could get up and go after a huge fall.
I think most of us would at the very least would lie there for a little bit and say “don’t touch me, just DON’T touch me!”. A fair bit of us would lie there and cry “carry me out of here”. And other would use the cape to cover up and wait till everyone left the room.
Kudos to Madonna and thanks for inspiring the quote for today:
The one who falls and gets up is much stronger than the one who never fell.
I woke up this morning with a glow after a really lovely and restful half term break which culminated with lunch with a lovely family.
This morning, I was stopped at the school gate by a friend who greeted me with a bright, “thank you for your blog”. She had spent a whole day reading it from start to present day and wanted to let me know she loved it. I was really surprised, encouraged and floaty on my way to work. I suddenly understood why I got a WordPress alert at the weekend telling me I was getting hourly views. 🙂
Then I got to work and found these sitting pretty on my desk.
Now you can imagine that I’m levitating. I pray this is a sign that the week is going to be pleasantly sweet.
I walked into church yesterday and was greeted by an usher who was handing out name tags.
It turned out that the congregation is being encouraged to give up anonymity for Lent. So every Sunday, we’ll be given stickers to write our names on as part of a commitment to encouraging communication and fellowship amongst members.
This is just the thing that gets me excited. So often we nod and smile at people we see regularly but we never introduce ourselves or get better acquainted and for me this was just awesome.
Unfortunately church can often be a place where people tend to stay in cliques, particularly those who have been members for years. And if intentional steps aren’t taken, to break down the walls, it’ll stay that way.
My office also has a social committee who organise regular events so that new staff and team members always get the opportunity to interact better, some of whom have been there for twenty years. Again, so cool.
The name tag really did break down the walls of anonymity. We got talking to a lady over coffee and then ended up sitting together and talking for about twenty minutes where in the past we might just have said hello and left. We had a wonderful conversation with her and I’m looking forward to doing this some more.
Last night I saw the leaked pictures of Beyoncé’s untouched face and my first reaction is why would anyone do that? What are they trying to prove?
I’m not a fan of Beyoncé at all but no one can deny that she’s pretty and even the most beautiful person can look awkward in the wrong light and pose.
The facts are here is a woman who’s been the poster child for hair products whilst donning hair extensions so hey forgive me if I’m not surprised that the makeup adverts are touched up. She’s not the first and won’t be the last. It’s the way the industry works.
Nonetheless, what did it prove? That she has spots? An uneven tone? That she’s a normal human being? That she looks like all the women I see daily? Puurleeze people need to get a life and leave her be.
Of course there is the chicken and the egg situation where you wonder who is to blame – the fashion and beauty industry that perpetuates the perfect image or the model or celebrity that’s party to that or the consumers that’s crave perfection.
Leaving impressionable young girls aside, we now all know that airbrushing exists and no company is going to sell a product if the model looks ‘normal’. Or maybe then they’ll have to do some more work promoting the virtues of their products.
So I say big deal! It’s good that young girls know that there is no such thing as the perfect face or body. And any true fan of hers should be pleased she’s human and not some bronze goddess.
If I were her, I wouldn’t respond unless of course she feels her ‘perfect’ image has been tarnished and all her hard work has nothing to do with her success. Then yeah, sue away.
My daughter walked into my bedroom on Valentine’s day and saw the card and gifts my husband gave me and cue dropped shoulders, sulk and a moan that sounded like awwwoooowwww- after which the shoulders sagged even lower.
I laughed and asked what was wrong. She promptly replied that it was not fair that I got a Valentine’s card and she didn’t get one. Before I could say anything, she said “I know what I’ll do, I’ll make one for myself”.
Of course you don’t need to guess how proud I was that one, she came up with a practical solution on her own to what she felt was a problem and two, she had stumbled onto one of life’s important lessons – loving yourself first.
There is no substitute for knowing you are loved and you are lovable before anyone says they love you. The second commandment that Christ gave was to love others as you love yourself. We are usually very good at pouring out love to others in need and loved ones but often very hard on ourselves.
Years, years, years ago I remember doing some sort of self awareness exercise. I can’t even remember where I was but I remember the result. The mission was to name ten things I loved about myself and then things I didn’t like. I filled up the ten things I didn’t like very quickly and could possibly have gone on to twenty but I got to number three on the love list and I couldn’t list things anything else that I loved about about myself. You should try that list to see what your love quotient on yourself is.
Maybe life has been very tough on you or people have told you that you are unlovable. Whatever the case is, you are only a shadow of who you really are if you can’t learn to love yourself – warts and all. You can search for it in the arms of another; try and find it in climbing your career ladder; hunt for it in the crowd of people you surround yourself with. You can try, try, try and try but until you can look in the mirror and say I like what I see – all of it the good, bad and ugly – then you haven’t lived. If you can’t do that, every achievement is hollow because you will be haunted by the quest to be good enough for x, y and z or to be like a, b and c. If you can’t love yourself, sadly no one else’s love will ever be good enough to fill that vacuum.
I learned that lesson at twenty-five which I think was very late but better late than never. If my daughter can learn this at the age of six, her life is going to be AMAZING!
Had a random thought just now about a song in a beginners piano book I had as a child. My Dame Has a Lame, Tame Crane. Do you know it? My sister and I used to crack up hysterically because it was a tongue twister – at least for a six and eight year old. I mean fall on the floor hysterics over missing a word in the rhyme. Yeah, we didn’t get out much. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
My dame has a lame, tame crane
My dame has a crane that is lame
Oh say, gentle Jane,
Does your dame’s lame tame crane feed
And come home again?