Double Standards

I’ve watched, with fascination, how Solange Knowles’ wedding has been splattered over popular women’s magazine and blog. And I cannot help but think what if Jay-Z was a woman and Solange was a man. What if the male-Solange was the one in that elevator hitting a woman. The world would not forgive him especially if he dared to get married to another woman soon after. He would lose all his sponsorship if he was famous; he certainly would not be entertained by any magazine except the lowest of the lowest tabloid. He would most definitely not be hailed as a fashion icon – no designer would touch that hot potato. And he would have to pay for it for the rest of his life.

I don’t know about you but the modern day feminism doesn’t really seem to be about equality but eating our cake and having it. We can’t on one hand vilify men who show aggression towards women and then let women get away with it. Where exactly is the equality in that? Oh I forgot, equality is only for women.


6 thoughts on “Double Standards

  1. I think that argument may be too reductionist. There are many layers to the comparison and just picking one aspect of it does not do justice to the argument. I don’t condone violence at all but the outrage against men that do this is usually based on the simple fact that the woman is physically weaker and defenceless. Change the script a bit and let’s assume Solange was hitting her young child in the same way – she would not have gotten away with it and would have been vilified and charged criminally. Yes we must denounce ANY kind of violence but Solange hitting JayZ is not a like for like comparison to him hitting her.

    • I think we do have to take a simple approach to it because, as you rightly pointed out, there are multiple layers. My point is simply if it was a man he would not be forgiven for it and that’s the double standard. The why he would not be forgiven I guess is the point of your comment. I purposefully didn’t mention any examples of such men because their cases were extreme. Notwithstanding I think we explain away violence in women and it’s not right. I do think it is like for like. It has to be like for like otherwise we will never reach true equality in the way we treat each other. We will then start to measure it by the number of punches and kicks and bruises. Just to throw in another layer. It’s hard for men who are physically abused by women to come out. With this sort of double standard, it’s no wonder why.

      • As someone who has loved a man who had been severely emotionally & physically abused by his ex wife… I saw first hand the devastation and complete breakdown of another human being. He suffered in silence. No one believed him even when he did finally speak up. His PTSD and mental trauma is horrific. He will never be the same, and I cannot love him enough to heal those wounds. Absolutely no one deserves to be treated like that, man, woman or child. There is no level of ‘defenselessness’ – it is simply flat out wrong no matter what species, sex, age, etc….

        This isn’t about men vs women and feminism or anti-feminism…. How about “humanism”. Why can’t we just treat one another w respect and decency as an equal, as someone who has every right to be here and be safe and be heard….everyone deserves that basic human right, everyone. Personally I am tired of hearing about the battle of the sexes…. there should be no battle. No one will ever win, the vicious cycle will just continue to repeat until we choose to stop it.

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