We all get jealous. Please don’t try and tell me you don’t; even if it’s just for five minutes, you do! Jealousy can be a useful tool you know. It’s never about the other person, unless of course the other person is Melinda Gates; then of course it IS about her. 😉
As I was saying, it’s never about the other person. It simply signifies your unhappiness with certain things in your life and the lack of control you feel you may or may not have i.e. your ability to alter your unhappiness. Never let jealousy get the better of you, instead use it to reflect on what you really want.
I remember once I was working with a colleague who one day stopped driving her quite ordinary Punto and drove in to work in a Mini Cooper. I don’t even like the car but the green eyed monster was quite adamant that I wanted it and I deserved to have it. After giving myself a slap or two I asked a simple question. Why are you jealous?
One, you don’t like the car
Two, you are happy with your car
The first step to getting my answer was admitting I was jealous and owning that emotion.
Self awareness is a mandatory skill for every human being to possess. You may have to develop the skill but you must have it in you repertoire of life skills. I discovered that day that jealousy could be my friend. My emotions stemmed from the fact that I felt stifled in my job. I wanted a change. This lady had mentioned for years that this was her dream car and, suddenly it seemed, after several years of having an aspiration it was just there before our eyes. I envied her progress. It had nothing to do with her or her car. I just wanted my life to move on from where it was.
The lure of jealousy is that it abdicates responsibility unto someone or something else. It says why can’t I have that or be that and specialises in emasculation. It points at your inadequacies and blinds you to the fact that things can change. It promises regret, despair and only a consolation prize. You master it by saying yeah I’m jealous, so what? It loses it grip instantly. It’s just an emotion and need not be more than a temporary resident in your heart.
If you can face up to your jealousy, it can reveal a lot more than you bargained for but if you do it in an honest manner, you should grow as a result. Next time the green eyed monster whispers in your ear, offer it some cake and tea. You might learn something new about yourself and get the motivation you need to change a thing or two.