Only A Perfectionist Would Choose To Consciously Uncouple

Remember the children’s story, The Emperor’s New Clothes, about two weavers who promised an Emperor some invisible robes. He foolishly ended up parading naked before his subjects until a clever child pointed out the obvious to him. This is what I think of when I hear the term ‘conscious uncoupling’ -Gwyneth Paltrow’s reference to her split with Chris Martin, frontman of Coldplay. It sounds like a train wreck to me. Only someone who feels that family life should be like the Cosby Show family would seek to find another word to describe a painful thing such as divorce.

There are two issues here for me. One is the need to rename divorce. The second is suggesting that a name change is what will make a difference to the process. Oh wait! Actually there’s a third issue. A divorce by any other name is still a divorce.

Hollywood gurus are always selling something that already exists but give it a name before they feed it to their acceptance craving audience. It’s called an A-M-I-C-A-B-L-E divorce.

As a child of divorced parents, I don’t think if my parents decided to consciously uncouple it would have made a fat difference. I would have been embarrassed to tell my friends that my parents were consciously uncoupling. The opposite of an acrimonious divorce is an amicable divorce and there is nothing new about that. Even in Hollywood, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore proved that years ago. And I’m sure there are lots of people around the world that divorce amicably.

Why aren’t the gurus selling classes to help marriages in Tinseltown last? This moronic need to rename everything on the face of the earth to please liberals takes our attention away from real issues. Numbing the pain is never the same thing as healing. Divorce hurts. It hurts the couple. It hurts the children. It hurts even extended family and friends.

Divorces get nasty when individuals are unable to reconcile their differences civilly. If things are going well enough to the point where you have decided to do things amicably, why pay someone $297 for a five week course so you can learn to breathe and self reflect. Isn’t that what counsellors and psychologists are there for? Regurgitated nonsense if you ask me.

No matter what you call it, the most vulnerable victims of divorce are the children. Whether their parents are divorced or consciously uncoupled is not going to make a difference to the fact that their world has changed and you CANNOT uncouple that from their reality.


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