Someone did something that hurt me the other day and as all humans I wanted to retaliate or withdraw. My natural instinct is to withdraw, particularly emotionally, and I have withdrawn permanently from a few relationships over the years simply because they weren’t good for me.
Hurt, bitterness, anger – these are toxic emotions and for someone like me who is quite emotional, it’s best not to let them take root at all otherwise it takes a root canal to get them out of my system. So sometimes I may act like I’m naïve, feign ignorance and simply pretend I didn’t really get what was intended just because I want it to glide over me. I have spent too much time having conversations with myself about what I should have done and how I should have said it and all the would have, could have, should haves whilst the perpetrator is seemingly at rest. It’s just not a good place to be and I want less of those.
On those occasions when the poisoned arrow gets through me there is only one antidote- being nice to my assailant. Crazy I know but in some weird way if I can show care or do something nice or be genuinely civil to someone who has hurt me, I end up feeling a release from the pain of the hurt. Don’t ask me how it works, it just does for me. So this morning I sent a text to someone that I really should not care about; but I did it anyway. I don’t care if they respond or not. I just refuse to have toxins in my heart or body. It’s not really about them but my well being.
Has anyone had a similar experience?